Depression: How did I get here?

So, how do we get depressed?

Here are a couple of things I believe that are important to remember in this discussion:

First:

-Everything is Spiritual

Second:

-God is ultimately in control of universe management (although I don’t believe that God always micromanages things)

The first point helps me to remember that there are spiritual causes for our depression and of course, spiritual answers.

The second point helps me to remember that I cannot control myself or my environment beyond that which God allows me to. And at times, I question whether I do a good job controlling the things that God gives me control over.

I know that some would say that when I am depressed that I am under spiritual attack. I don’t dispute this. However, keeping in mind that God is in control, I must entertain the possibility that God could be allowing me to be attacked for some ultimate purpose.

Now, I realize that is not something you hear a Christian say everyday.

To clarify, I believe that God could actually be allowing my enemies to run roughshod over me for a time in order to generate a spiritual response from me that will eventually free me from depression and allow me to gain spiritual knowledge that will make me stronger, wiser and more resilient in the future.

Most depressed Christians, or even those who aren’t looking at their condition from a spiritual standpoint, eventually ask the question “why am I here?” I don’t believe that question should be rhetorical. I believe we must open our hearts, fall to our knees and ask God this same question, expecting an answer. Because God knows why you here. He may even have allowed it to happen because He wants you to know something about Him. Or you.

So, back to my own question “Why am I here?”

At this time I am considering that there is a strong possibility I am here because I have some focus issues and some habit issues. Focus issues as in To Much Focus On Dan. And habit issues as Need To Get Rid Of “Some” and Adopt “Others.”

Pardon me if this sounds a little arrogant, but I believe God is giving me an opportunity to get a deeper glimpse into His nature. I’m not sure what this means as far as the Christian world immediately around me, but I’m pretty sure I’m figuring out what this glimpse means to me personally. I certainly feel like I’m tossing out some Spiritual concepts and replacing them with more accurate ones. Allow me some mistakes -I’m still processing this whole episode as I continue to crawl out of this swamp. It is my heart’s desire that whatever pain I was in, that it can someday be useful for God and for God’s people.

Soon, I’d like to add one more installment to this blog discussion and in it I would like to talk about what people have done to help me when I was depressed and what people have done or said that wasn’t, well, exactly…….…helpful.

It should be pointed out that I am not an expert on depression. If you are really in a deep, dark place, you may need counseling or medical intervention. Keep your pastor’s and your doctor’s phone number nearby. God bless.

Depression

I got really depressed last week.

I know that depression is one of those taboo subjects in some Christian circles, because we’re not supposed to have those issues if we do all the right “Christian things”.

Bull.

We’re broken, we’re human and we aren’t perfect. We need God and we mess up things. I would think you’d need to be pretty insulated to avoid any kind of depression.

I’m not naïve. And I’m not without experience in this world. I’ve been inside my head and heart many times and I’m pretty good at figuring out what is wrong with me when something isn’t working the way it should. But this bout with the “dark night of the soul” threw me for a loop. I was back to looking up to the sky and asking “what in the world?”

It’s been over a week of being in the dumps, but today the darkness began to lift a bit. I’m starting to understand what has to happen in order to tolerate these bouts with melancholy. And of course, it’s good news and bad news.

Many people, including myself like to pray that God “transforms” them. We like to sing about God being “all we need” and “everything to me”. There’s a popular new worship song that sings about God being “All to us”. It’s a great song and I love to sing it. But I’m beginning to realize that all this talk is not much more than talk for a lot of us. We pray that God can have “all that we have” or “all of us”, but sometimes it seems like we really have no idea of what that actually looks like. And most of us don’t really want to know.

I think that God is trying to show me. I mean, this is not “My burden is light”, time. This is “take up your cross and follow Me” time. Despite the former, if you want the latter, it simply won’t be easy.

Luke 12:48…..”From everyone who has been given much, much will be required, and from the one who has been entrusted with much, even more will be asked.”

I have asked for more. To go farther and deeper with Him. And at times it seems as if Jesus’ response is “Truly? You really want more? Really? You ask much, and therefore, much will be asked of you. In truth, you don’t know what you are asking. But I will try to show what life in my shadow is like.”

To be continued….