Presence or presents?

I remember when a friend of mine visited a small town south of Tucson and related to us his experience of visiting an historical church that was built in the early 1900’s down there. He said that when he entered this particular church he was struck with the presence of the Spirit. The words he used to describe it were “thick” and “tangible.”

Many of us can relate to that feeling and perhaps have visited such a place ourselves. It is almost as if all the prayers spoken there, all the hymns and holy songs sung, and all the incense burned and ancient rituals performed had lodged themselves in the DNA of the building itself. It seems to me that it would take a lot of time and effort to bring about this spiritual condition of a church building. Perhaps the environment had been cultivated for so long and so deliberately that angels themselves had taken up residence there.

I have felt this presence many times in my life. Sometimes, as above, it is ingrained in buildings or holy places. Sometimes it is found in nature. The ancient Celts used to call certain Holy sites around Ireland “thin places” where the veil between Heaven and earth seemed to be much thinner than normal and Heaven much closer. Sometimes an event such as a powerful prayer meeting or worship gathering can bring such a powerful presence that all around can feel it deep inside of ourselves in that “God place” we all have.

The first time I felt the real presence of the Holy Spirit was at the time I first dropped my spiritual guard and prayed out loud for a God that was, at that time unknown to me- to ultimately help me and save me from myself. The Spirit came to me at that moment in a flood and bathed me in heavenly love and spoke a name to me- “Jesus”. It was unmistakable at the time and I’ve clung to that memory as the most important moment in my life.

The second time I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit was a few weeks later when I found myself entering a church here in Tucson that I had been “led to”. I say led to, because I don’t remember anyone telling me about this church or recommending it to me beforehand. I simply found myself compelled to go to this church one Sunday. As I entered, I felt this “thick presence” and I instinctively knew what it was and where it had come from. Music was coming from a band playing and the room was filled with people freely worshipping and openly displaying their devotion to the Source of the Spirit I felt. I will never forget that moment either.

I will be bold here and state that I believe that God led me to that place in order to experience what it is to enter a church building and sense the Presence and experience that feeling when the Spirit has been called and invited to dwell among God’s people. It was as if God was telling me “see here these people who worship me and seek Me without hesitation or timidity. Where my Spirit is- there is freedom and these children of mine are freely expressing their love and need for Me.”

When I first entered that church, God touched me so deeply there was no way I was going to turn around and run out. The room and the people felt strange to me and I was experiencing something new and unusual, yet I was unafraid and soon I joined them in worship. I was drawn by the spiritual atmosphere even though my natural tendency in that situation would have been to leave. I was blessed with a supernatural boldness that led me on. I was attracted beyond my normal nature.

I try to sense these things in every church gathering I attend. If I visit a church, I enter the building and try to spend some time with my eyes closed just getting a sense of the Spirit in that place. Sometimes I feel it, and sometimes I feel nothing. Of course this is certainly not a definitive “test” of the spiritual activity in a particular church. I am simply attempting to put into practice the gift of discernment that God showed my long ago. If I don’t feel anything in a church building or gathering, it could mean nothing. But, if I feel the active and tangible presence in a particular place, it is significant to me. There is nothing more attractive to me than the presence of the Holy Spirit.

I believe that we all have the ability to sense God’s Spirit to different degrees. I also believe that we can increase our ability to feel God’s presence around and in us if we choose to pursue this ability. But it begins with experiencing it for the first time.

It is my heart’s desire that all church communities begin to seek after this Spirit and take steps to create a hospitable environment where the Spirit would take up residence in. Many churches have taken to creating an atmosphere that is worldly based in order to attract new parishioners. The trend these days is to make the church building comfortable and inviting to the “unchurched” by focusing on external atmospheric conditions. Lighting and sound, comfortable furnishings, secular music, entertaining concert-like worship sets and simple and non confrontational preaching are common tools to bring in the new flock. I understand this approach and this way of thinking. It’s difficult to trust God that He would open a person’s mind and heart when they step in to our churches for the first time, without our help.

If I had walked into a church like that back in my early Christian days, I might have stayed for the wrong reasons and for a short time as I would have quickly outgrown such a place in my hunger for the deep spiritual presence. I have come to believe that if we put as much effort into creating a place where the Holy Spirit would comfortably dwell as we do in making people feel comfortable, we would tap into the deeper spiritual self and begin to fill our church buildings! I believe that we would experience more miracles and spiritual, mental and physical healing in such a place. That is great news! The potential is limited only by our faith. I think this would be a great time we toned down the externals and built up the spiritual in our church gatherings. We can count on the Lord working in a strong Spiritual atmosphere, can we not? We can have faith that He will want to dwell in our church houses if we invite His Spirit in significant and consistent ways. If we instead, lean on our worldly understanding and utilize the world’s ways of attracting people, perhaps all we can expect is worldly fruit.

Are you building your church gathering on sand or rock? Do you trust that people will be attracted to your church based on clever ideas and planning or does your attendance rely on faith and Spirit? Do you want people to pay compliments to your music and atmosphere or do you want them to come back to your church to once again feel the presence of God in their midst? Remember, even people who are unacquainted with Christ can feel His Spirit within them. If the music is too loud and too entertaining and the atmosphere has dumbed down the Spirit, people might not be able to feel or hear God’s touch on their soul. Their spiritual senses could be overridden by the best laid plans and your church may become a revolving door.


A church with a powerful presence of God might just create “stayers” and not “comers and goers.”


That seems like a worthy goal doesn’t it?

Golden Streets and Golden Retrievers

Lola

Last month, on a Saturday evening, my wife took off with our daughter to do some shopping, leaving my son and me at home. I decided to take the dogs for our nightly walk. We have two Golden Retrievers- Sophie, who is 10 years old and mainly is my dog, and Lola, who is 2 and is more of the family dog. Sophie and I have walked almost every night since we’ve had her. That adds up to around 3,500 walks total. I’ve adequately trained her and for the most part she’s obedient. But what she excels at is predictability. I can practically tell what she’s thinking as she’s thinking it. I know her tricks and habits and personality and therefore, she has earned the right to be walked without a leash. Lola, on the other hand is much younger and not nearly as predictable. When Lisa and I walk them, Lola stays on the leash.

When I walk them alone, I can more or less control them both if they’re off leash. We walk the same route and do the same rituals and if I stay alert, I can keep them together and out of harm’s way. I have a commanding voice and I make myself hard to ignore. My mom was an obedience dog trainer when I was growing up and I remember a lot of her technique. (Some of which she used on us kids). Another reason I let them walk without leashes is that they love to work out their legs with a good run or two. If I let them sniff something and walk ahead, they will sprint to catch up and they really enjoy this. If I really feel like giving them a treat, I’ll take them to the park at night and let them run their little heads off. Goldens in full flight are magnificent.

Both dogs are truly wonderful pets. They are part of the DNA of our home. Literally. Their hair is everywhere. Lola is full of life and a very happy dog. She perks up a room when she is in full swing. She has beautiful eyes and a dark, red coat and a gorgeous tail. She almost looks like an Irish setter. She’s small for a golden, but she can run incredibly fast. We got her up in Phoenix, along with her sister, Luna. It was our intent to keep Luna, but soon after we brought them home, Luna contracted Parvo and within 2 weeks died in our arms. Heartbroken, we decided to keep Lola instead. Lola soon started showing signs of Parvo, but this time we were anticipating it and we sprang into action and began an aggressive treatment that eventually conquered the dreaded disease. Like Harry Potter, Lola was the dog “who lived.”

Lola had some great personality features. Once in awhile she would yawn loudly and the sound that came out was a wacky, guttural gargle that never failed to crack us up. When we brought her food, she was always so happy that she would do one or two spins in place before we put the bowl down. Since she was so small, we let her climb up on the couch with us. She loved it when you got down on your knees and let her put her front paws on your shoulders. It looked like you were dancing with her. Unlike Sophie, she liked to lick my face and hands. She was completely adorable and no one could imagine our world without her.

On the night in question, I got my flashlight and plastic bags ready, and since it was quiet outside, I decided to do our usual route without leashes. We stepped outside and both dogs turned to me expectantly, because one of our rituals is to start off with a sprint across the street and around the nearby corner. I ran with them, but for some unknown reason Lola didn’t run across the street with Sophie and me. Instead, she ran down the sidewalk on our side of the street. When I reached the corner with Sophie, I found I had temporarily lost Lola in the dark. Just as this happened, a car turned the corner on to our street, about 100 feet away. In this situation, when I have one dog, I instinctively run to the side of the street the dog is on, preventing the dog from running into the street. That night, I was on a corner with a car coming at me with headlights on and I had no clue where Lola was or even what side of the street she was on. I stepped into the street right in front of the truck and stood there, causing the driver to stop. My intention was to gather my dogs and get off the street. I knew the driver saw me and saw Sophie, because we were both in its headlights. Because the headlights were right next to me, I could not see any dog and had to step away from the truck to find Lola.

At that point, with me still not able to locate Lola, and with the knowledge that there were dogs and people in the street and who knows what else, the drive decided to keep going and took off at full speed., When I saw the truck take off, I instantly became frantic because now I didn’t know where any dog was. Right then, I heard a sickening thud and cry and as I spun around, I saw Lola behind the front tire of the truck. I cannot describe the shock and horror I felt at that instant. But then the truck started again and I watched the rear tire roll over my poor, innocent, sweet, overwhelmed with the reality of this terrible world we live in, Lola. I yelled “STOP” and the truck stopped. Unbelievably, Lola got up and started back to the house. I yelled at the man behind the car window that he just ran over my dog twice!- and then hurried away to find Lola.

She had made it about half way to the house and was lying on the sidewalk in obvious pain. She wasn’t making a sound, but was panting heavily. I picked her up and ran to the house, laid her on the floor and called for Aaron. While he comforted her as best as he could, I called the emergency pet hospital and within 20 minutes of the event, was sitting in the waiting room for results.

Lisa and Claire soon joined us and we were all just weeping with the deepest regret and pain.  It turned out that the initial impact probably did little damage to her, but because the driver was moving too fast to effectively avoid driving over her, her insides were squashed and messed up from the weight of the car as it drove over her. The doctor told us that she would require surgery and a week’s observation and the bill would probably be over $20,000. After, that, it would be anybody’s guess what kind of condition Lola would be in. We all tearfully agreed that we would have to say goodbye to our wonderful Lola. They let us in to the room she was in and we all wept our goodbyes to our family member that was running happily in the open air just an hour before.

People tell me that she is in a “better place” and I realize that is mostly true. But she went there way too soon. We gave each other way too much love for that vacancy to be filled easily. My family keep assuring me that it is not my fault, and I know that it is unhealthy for me to believe otherwise, but on the list of “If onlys” putting her on a leash was at the top.

My faith and the experiences in my life that bear it out, cause me to believe that in the wake of every tragedy comes new life and not a few, miracles. Good follows bad, if not in equal measure, at least in some measure. I always look for the thing to learn or the increase of wisdom and compassion that comes from tragedy.

In this case, I think that it is good thing that my kids experience tragedy on a less than human level. A dog is a dog, a person is a person. There is great value in our loving pets, but it’s not at the same level as our human brothers and sisters. I’d rather they learn to deal with the heavy blows that life can deal us on the pet level than on the human level. All of us will eventually die and we must learn to process this sort of loss and the pain in our hearts that follows. It takes patience and faith to know that the pain will become manageable and eventually mastered in the wake of tragedy. One must learn to grieve fully and completely and the wisdom to do this comes with experience. That is one of the good things that comes in the wake of tragedy.

My task in this situation is a bit more complicated. I have no one to share the feeling of guilt with- I stand alone with the lion’s share of blame. I am responsible for letting Lola out without a leash and I alone witnessed the event and I am truly struggling with the tapes that keep playing in my mind. Even when I am fully alert, my mind can take its own turn and at the end of a completely unrelated thought process, can slip in one of the tapes. Every time that happens it’s like a tiny knife pierces my heart. Imagine that happening 30 or 40 times a day. I am completely unable to control this tape playing when it pops into my thinking processes. But, what I can do is control my reaction to this potent erosion of my soul.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 10 that “For though we live as human beings, we do not wage war according to human standards, 10:4 for the weapons of our warfare are not human weapons, but are made powerful by God for tearing down strongholds. We tear down arguments 10:5 and every arrogant obstacle that is raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to make it obey Christ”.

If you are a normal person, you struggle with “making every thought captive to make it obey Christ”. That verse stands right up there with “Pray unceasingly” and “Give thanks always and for everything.” The truth is, I don’t even attempt to make most of my thoughts captive. I am prone to letting my mind wander all over the place sometimes.

Hmm..Just like I let Lola do.

To combat this constant barrage of negative, depressing “tape-playing”, I have begun to react by instantly overriding the tapes with thoughts and affirmations of Jesus and His life and passion. When that stab of guilt interrupts my peace and shocks my heart, I respond with praise of God and words of thanksgiving. Sometimes I narrate from Job or the crucifixion story. I squash the hellish tapes with heavenly words and images. Sometimes I imagine Jesus holding me tight, and telling me “it’s okay...... it’s okay.”

It occurred to me in a more lucid moment how much more mental discipline I might have if I applied this technique in more common experiences. Don’t we all let our minds got to bad places? Don’t we all let our minds indulge themselves in less than healthy thought processes? All day we let ourselves judge each other and criticize each other. We let our lusts for food and entertainment and comfort and sex and pride and self-love override our more Godlike instincts. Until this terrible event, I don’t think I ever realized how just how undisciplined my mind really was. It is out of sheer survival that I am now learning how to bring forth healthy spirituality from unhealthy mind patterns.

“Good can come from bad”

That is God’s way. You can see it every time.

Please don’t read into this the notion that God allowed Lola to suffer so that I could gain a bit of wisdom that I badly needed. Those dots are not there to connect. I have blogged before about how impossible it is to see just exactly what God is doing from our lowly perspective. I do not know why Lola was taken from us or why it was allowed to happen. Honestly, I was angry at God for not stopping the man in the truck or guiding Lola around it. I am more at peace now and I have to confess, that it is not God’s duty to let me know what is going on in His endless mind. He works in events that have far reaching consequences in His divine plan. I am at peace knowing that God will let new life grow in the wake of this terrible event on my family’s life. We just have to look for it.

I miss Lola terribly and I fight the urge to think we were robbed of something. I am glad, however, that I am learning to hurl Heaven at Hell and watch the flames scatter and die.